By: Victoria Hincapie Gómez Date: May 13 of 2022
Approximately two months ago, I decided to take a step further into my transition.I started this process of becoming who I was truly 7 months ago but up to that point my transition was merely emotional.
I remember being 12-13 years old, and seeing all of my friends physically developing into grown women. As I saw how their bodies changed in certain ways, I yearn for mine to do the same.
I was aware then , that I was a girl. I felt like one, but I knew then that I wasn’t perceived as one. Dissents of what is seen upon as good or bad , always go through that phase of pure denial. Hoping that what we feel , will simply just go away with time.
For me that stage of denial lasted 6 years. It was only when I moved to Toronto, that I realized how I was unconsciously and partly consciously hiding and avoiding my true identity.
Once I had that epiphany , I started my transition.At first this involved counseling from a psychologist and numerous sessions with a specialist in HRT.
Time went by and I started my transition medically, this was the best decision of my life. As much as we want to denied it ,perception is important. I was perceived as a man , and I wanted to put a stop to that.
With only 2 months of taking my hormones , I decided that I wanted to go back to Colombia. Not necessarily because I was eager to go , but I wanted to get a boob job and changing my legal documents was faster back home.
This decision was hard because part of me was having fun with my friends in Toronto and with the life that I had built so far , but the other part of me felt unhappy with the way I looked and overwhelmed to face all changes of legal documents by myself.
So I ponder upon which choice was better for the long-run , staying in Toronto or going back to Colombia for the summer. Assessing both scenarios, going back home seemed to be the right call.
A plane ticket was bought and on the 24 of April I hopped on a plane straight to Colombia. Once I arrived I started the process of getting my new id under Victoria , and prepared myself mentally for the surgery that I was for so long longing.
After a week of being in Cartagena(the city I was born in) I jumped on another plane to the capital of Colombia( Bogota) to met up with my surgeon who happens to be my uncle, as well as to getting medically tested for my surgery scheduled on the forth of May.
Those days prior to my surgery were both exciting and hard to face. Although I was super hyped up to go through with the surgery, I had to be medically tested in general and the problem was that my medical insurance was still under my deadname.
Having to sign forms with my deadname in order to get multiple medical tests done , has heartbreaking and felt as if I was taking some steps back instead of further into the person I had become.
I know how tedious it is to change some documents legally and how they won't be changed overnight,but still it was hard to acknowledge the fact that as much as I wanted ,my past was going to be around for awhile.
After I got those tests done , I cried so much. The simply fact of being called by my deadname and being addressed as sir was hurtful and charged me with fury. But I knew that I needed to move past it , for my mental sake.
Two days later , I went to the hospital where my boob job was performed. The day was finally here, a checked mark into my mental transition board was placed hours later. I remember waking up from the surgery a bit dizzy due to the anesthesia , but even with anesthesia fluctuating in my body , a sense of relief came into me.
Two hours after the surgery was done , they released me. My dad brought me to the hotel I am currently staying until Saturday to rest. I thought it was going to be in extreme pain , but I didn't felt any sort of pain right after the surgery, just discomfort and pressure on my chest.
I am writing this 8 days after my surgery , and I still don't feel any sort of pain and as the days go by, am able to move more freely my arms and do things on my own. I am overjoyed with happiness, because more than being simply a procedure to gain more confidence under the eyes of many , for me it means a reaffirmation of my identity. My mind and body intertwined.
It was all worthy it
I hope you guys enjoyed it , feel free to comment down below.
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