By:Victoria Hincapie Gomez Date: March 14 of 2022
Dating and meeting new people makes part of life for all of us, but when it comes down to trans woman or trans people in general dating becomes much trickier.
Many people don't want to be seen around us let alone have a relationship with us. Without undermining the mentality shift of many cis gender women and cis gender men over the years, we trans individuals are mostly perceived as either a fetish or not considered as the gender we transitioned to.
For me the concept of being a woman goes beyond the ability to procreate and having a vagina, but not many cis gender woman or men agree with this idea. So being trans and coming out to your date is really dangerous in a way because you don't really know who others might react.
These coming out experiences sometimes can led up to murder as it was the case of Selena Reyes Hernandez that was murdered by Orlando Perez after he found out she was trans or in other case scenarios they react fine but all of a sudden we become a secret.
Some of you reading this might think that it really boils down to what you are into , which can be true but it has more depth than simply that. Because after all , we are programmed to think in some type of way and in the case of trans people society has programmed others to think of us as the forbidden fruit.
Not only we are the forbidden fruit , but we are depicted as men in women's clothing and altogether look upon as a joke. Ultimately all of these aspects influence the people that are interested in us knowing or not knowing that we are trans , and to be honest I truly think the rejection towards woman like me originates from this rather than just a matter of what you like or not.
I met a guy months ago and there was something on how he approached to me that made me realize all of this. We started to get to know each other via chat and days later he invited me on a date , up to this point everything seemed alright.
Once we met up and started to talk sooner than expected the conversation moved towards how he didn't want his family nor his buddies to know that he liked a trans woman. this really came up out of nowhere but what he said right after helped me connect the dots
and I saw where this was going.
The purpose of him telling me this was to letting me know that although he was enjoying our date and he found me beautiful , we needed to see each other in private from now on. This rubbed me the wrong way , but at the time I had just started to transition and even though I had friends around me I felt lonely.
I stupidly agreed to see him again and again. Fortunately I opened my eyes thoroughly weeks later and saw things as they were. To this man I was an object and apparently something to be ashamed of.
Often women like me tolerate this out of fear of being alone and surrender themselves to men that don't have enough balls to really own who they like no matter what other people think of them.
If any of you fell into this type of situation , get out of it it because is not worth it. Eventually someone will come and appreciate you entirely and openly.
Finally, cis women and cis men out there have at least the courage to stand for what you want unapologetic. Be the kind of person that doesn't let what others think to intercede in their decision -making.
I hope you guys liked it ! , feel free to comment down below.
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