By ; Victoria Hincapie Gomez Date; February 14, 2022
As some of you might know, gender dysphoria is something that most for not saying all transgender individuals face throughout parts of their transition or some throughout their whole lives.
But , why do we transgender individuals feel this in the first place?
Well , this occurs out of the believe that our physical appearance doesn't match with our mind and soul. This idea is because of the physical traits that are infused in our minds by society of what a woman or man looks like.
So imagine being a little boy or girl looking at the mirror , and being overwhelmed by the image you are perceiving. looking at your reflection in the mirror and thinking that there is something wrong , that the pieces of the puzzle don't seem to intertwine.
I felt this and I know that most transgender people have. We feel pressured to look as manly or feminine as possible , not only in order to feel aligned with our identity but to also feel like we are safe from getting misgendered.
I remember being 13 and starting watching Youtube videos about trans woman such as Gigi Gorgeous , Eden the doll , Nikita Dragun and their journey towards becoming what they were longing for. From then on I knew that I was like them , but I also knew I was afraid and unwilling to face all the consequences of proceeding to make my decision. So , instead I decided to let it slide and fool myself that it just a face , that it was something that eventually would go away { Spoiler alert, it didn't].
When I came to Canada approximately 6 months ago and I decided to start my transition ,the first step was talking with a psychologist here. We talked and he asked a bunch of questions that all of sudden made the things that I carefully try to cover up for years to unfold. My gender dysphoria , and the fact that I was trans became clearer than crystal.
Since that awakening , I have felt a sense of relief but I also have felt that in a way am kind of my worst enemy at times. There are days that I look at myself and feel confident in how I look and there are days that I just simply tear myself down from head to toe.
Some of you might be thinking that is normal because we all have insecurities , but when you are trans those insecurities don't revolve around physical attributes that you already have and like to fix. They revolve around those you don't have and rejection to those you have.
I Truly wish that I didn't care what I look like or what I am perceived as, but that's not the case at all. Not only am obsessed with looking great{ whatever that means] , but its also sort of impossible to not care if based on that is normally how you are treated.
Gender dysphoria is something that at least in these first stages of my transition I have to figured out how to manage and hopefully the hormones am taking will help with that.
The only reason or main reason at least that I am sharing all of these , is because I think that from an outsider's perspective some of you might think that being trans is just going through a checking list of multiple surgeries. Unfortunately that's not the case , and by now I hope that those who are reading this and had that preconceived idea know that it has much deeper nuance that simply just a couple of surgeries and hormones.
I hope you liked it! , feel free to comment down below.
Your resilience will never cease to impress me. Love you to the moon and back!